


it's such a shame that we play strangers

by GayMothman (GhostQueen)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Ending, F/M, M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 08, Shiro (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Unrequited Love, for one of them, for one of them anyway, like really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 17:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17228387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostQueen/pseuds/GayMothman
Summary: You tried to pinpoint when he drifted away.Maybe it was when he only referred to you by your title.Maybe it was when he only talked to you in reference to the war.Maybe it was when he failed to visit once while you were stuck in a coma.Maybe it was when he opened his eyes for the first time after his cloneʼs body finally accepted his soul.Maybe you werenʼt as close as you thought.





	1. Red

**Author's Note:**

> fuckin uhhh here's this brain fart take it
> 
> it's keith's pov if that wasn't obvious
> 
> also 
> 
> recommended listening: Oh, Calamity (All Time Low), Somebody Else (The 1975), You (dodie)

You tried to pinpoint when he drifted away.

Maybe it was when he only referred to you by your title.

Maybe it was when he only talked to you in reference to the war.

Maybe it was when he failed to visit once while you were stuck in a coma.

Maybe it was when he opened his eyes for the first time after his cloneʼs body finally accepted his soul.

Maybe you werenʼt as close as you thought.

In the beginning, you tried to keep him close.

You invited him to go for a ride.

You tried bringing him a cup of coffee in the morning.

You waited for him on the Black Lion to watch the sunset.

Yet, he refused every time.

You donʼt know where you went wrong.

So, you gave him the space he seemed to crave so desperately.

When the war was over, you only ever saw him at the memorial dinner each year.

The paladins call you every so often.

You appreciate all of them checking in and updating you about their life.

Thereʼs still this disappointed feeling every time you pick up the phone and irrationally hope itʼs him.

It never is.

Youʼre reading through files, trying to figure out which planets most need the Bladeʼs time and resources.

Itʼs not easy.

Every single planet deserves their help, but they simply canʼt help everyone at once.

Youʼre about to turn in for the night when you get a message notification on your screen.

You tap it mindlessly, figuring itʼs probably a meme one of the paladins sent to the group chat.

Itʼs not.

Itʼs an invitation to his wedding.

And he wants you to be his best man.

You RSVP without hesitation.

You just want your friend back at this point.

You donʼt care that he doesnʼt love you.

You love him.

You want to see him happy, even if it means feeling like your heart is being ripped out your body.

You go to the wedding.

Your presence feels like a mere formality.

Youʼre the best man, but youʼre not his best friend.

Youʼre there as the Black Paladin, the right hand of the Captain of the Atlas.

You kind of wonder if he has any real friends that deserve this position.

Every muscle in your being wants to object, to tell him heʼs making a mistake.

But.

He looks so happy.

When they say “Speak now”, you stay silent.

At the reception, youʼre asked to give a speech.

You force your voice to spin a tale about him and the man heʼs become.

You make a joke about him finally settling down.

Everyone laughs.

The speech is shallow and thereʼs so much more you want to say, but you donʼt.

That’s not your place anymore.

You sit right next to him, but he doesnʼt even look at you.

You talk to the paladins, who are seated to your right.

They all look at you with varying degrees of pity.

The newlyweds get up to dance.

You leave almost immediately after.

You donʼt even tell him goodbye.

Youʼre putting on your helmet when he comes outside after you.

He asks why you arenʼt staying.

You donʼt respond.

You just finish putting your helmet on and drive off.

Heʼll get over it.

He has a nice husband to make sure he doesnʼt think about you ever again.

You try not to notice the tears blurring your vision.

You leave for Daibazaal the next morning.

Sheʼs there waiting for you when you get back, an excited cosmic wolf at her feet.

Sheʼs your right hand and your confidant.

She was once your enemy, but now sheʼs saved your life more times than you can count.

More times than he ever did.

Youʼve grown to trust her with everything.

Everything.

She knows exactly how you feel about him.

She felt the same about the man she used to follow.

She knows your loss.

You share this sense of understanding with her.

Itʼs then that you realize that sheʼs always been there, waiting for you to come back.

Youʼre going to make her stop waiting.

You’re tired from running from your problems alone.

Now, she runs with you.

When you visit Earth again to see the paladins, you bring her along.

The others are happy for you.

They don’t mention him.

They’re glad you’re finally moving on.

And you are.

For the first time in a long time, you see a future for yourself that doesn’t involve him.

He still lingers in the back of your mind.

It’s not as painful as it used to be.

Months pass, and you begin to wonder why you were so hung up on him in the first place.

It was never you.

It was always him.

He pulled away.

He cut ties.

He left you.

You feel a tinge of satisfaction when you decide not to invite him to your wedding.

You invite the paladins.

The green paladin serves as your best man.

You invite the blades.

A former adversary and current ally serves as her maid of honor.

You invite your mother.

Your mother walks her down the aisle with a loving smile.

It’s a small ceremony, but you wouldn’t trade this moment for the universe.

You’re sharing this moment with the ones you hold close.

All the pain and loneliness was finally worth it, because it lead you to her.

No one says a thing when they realize who wasn’t invited.

She’s looking at you with her heart in her hands.

You give her yours without a second thought.

You only realize the next morning that you didn’t think about him once.

As you hold her close in your bed, you go back to sleep.


	2. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro pov now whoops

You try to pinpoint when everything fell apart.

It could be when he left your wedding without saying a word.

Or maybe it was when your husband couldn’t handle one of your nightmares.

It might be when he first left with the Blades after the war.

Or was it when he stopped looking at you during memorial dinners.

Was it when your husband left a ring and a note on the counter?

You can’t hold it against your husband to leave you.

You had a good couple years together.

It was sweet.

It was domestic.

It was bland.

You thought domesticity would be enough for you.

As if the stars couldn’t possibly sustain you.

Yet, you yearned for the stars.

You shoved that yearning deep down.

It was what drove your first partner away.

You didn’t want that to happen again.

So, you conformed.

You played the role of a good husband that had dinner hot when your spouse came home.

You barely noticed when the paladins called you less and less.

You pretended not to care when he never called.

Here’s the thing about roles:

You’re a bad actor.

Neither of you could stand the personas you played.

Neither of you mentioned him.

It wasn’t all his fault.

He wasn’t even there.

It was doomed from the start.

Still, you never left Earth.

You stayed late at work.

There was always more paperwork to do.

Things to prepare.

People to meet.

You were always busy.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Truth is, you have so much vacation time stocked up, you could take a year off uncontested.

You’ll never use it.

Work is the only thing that distracts you from him.

You wish you could stop.

No, you wish you could turn back time and stop you from making the first mistake.

You know exactly when everything began to unravel.

“I love you.”

After he brought you back from the dead, you left him.

You left him.

Abandoned him.

You couldn’t say it back.

You didn’t want to leave him with that disappointment.

Instead, you broke his heart.

You lost him.

The damage is already done.

You can’t take it back.

No matter how much you want to now.

You dug your own grave.

Now lie in it.

You find out that he had visited Earth a few weeks ago.

No one told you.

He had a girl with him.

Was it really too late?

Or did you ruin a friendship for nothing?

You have to fix this.

But how?

You have his contact frequency.

You call.

You only hear a dial tone.

He changed it and didn’t tell you.

You deserve that.

You call the Blades, asking for his new frequency.

The nameless face tells you that you aren’t permitted to that information.

You pull rank, frankly a bit desperate at this point.

The face refuses again and tells you it’s by his orders.

With a brief, formal farewell, the face leaves you.

It seems he wants to cut you completely out of his life at this point.

Have you really messed up that badly?

You’ll see him at the next memorial dinner.

He’ll have to talk to you then.

He doesn’t talk to you.

Sure, he greets you and exchanges a few words.

But they don’t mean anything.

They haven’t meant anything for a very long time.

You grin and bear it, figuring you’ll have the opportunity to get him alone.

He doesn’t ask about your divorce.

You don’t ask about the girl.

Especially considering that the paladins already know.

They bring her up.

A former enemy.

You think he can do better.

You try not to think that it should be you.

You missed your chance.

He looks so in love when he talks about her.

How he used to talk about you.

How you used to talk about him, now that you think about it.

Maybe you were always in love with him.

Did you have to be so dense?

He asks the green paladin about her newest project and the conversation goes on.

You’re stuck thinking about him.

You loved him.

You love him.

He loved you.

He might still love you.

You have to try.

After dinner, you catch him on the way to his quarters.

You ask to speak with him privately.

He stares at you for a long moment before shaking his head.

He says it would be a bad idea.

He walks away from you.

And walks out of your life for the last time.

You regret not fighting to talk to him.

You don’t hear from anyone for months.

Like they heard what you did and this is your punishment.

Maybe it is.

You deserve this.

At the next dinner, conversation is stilted.

No one seems to want to look you in the eye.

What did you do?

Other than the obvious.

The paladins talk to each other and their conversation is lively.

When you ask a question, you get a clipped response.

Where did you go wrong?

You feel like you’re missing something.

You’re in the middle of taking a bite when you notice it.

A simple black band lies on his left hand.

All words die in your mouth.

You were too late.

The worst part isn’t that he didn’t invite you.

It’s that he is happy without you.

You pretend not to be bitter.

In fact, you pretend not to notice it.

That night, you ponder what could have been, as if you had put that ring on his finger.

You pull the blankets tighter around you, trying not to care how empty the bed feels.

You don’t sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry shiro i know it's not your fault the writers made u a jerk but i thrive off angst so here we are

**Author's Note:**

> feed my kacxa children you are safe now


End file.
